At my limit

I'll tell you one thing blogs are good for- solipsistic rants, that's what! (Cue laugh track)

I received a telephone call last night from a young lady conducting a survey. The following is my best attempt to reconstruct the sense, if not the word-for-word, of this amazing experience.

She: "We're looking for people's opinions of Illinois politicians in the upcoming elections."

Me: "Go ahead."

She: "First, I'll read a list of names, and you tell me whether you feel positive, somewhat positive (insert remainder of array of choices to ....'negative')."

Me: "These are all politicians?"

She: "Yes."

Me: "Put me down for all negative."

She: "I can't do that; I have to ask each one separately."

Me: "OK"

She reads list of names, I respond

She: "Do you intend to vote in November?"

Me: "Absolutely."

She reads lists of candidates, I tell who I'd vote for.

She: "Now, I want to read two statements about Boody Jar Moblinga (name of well-known Illinois political hack changed to protect the guilty, referred to hereinafter as 'BJM'), and you tell me which one you agree with the most."

Me: "Read away."

She: "First, do you agree that BJM is wonderful, can walk across Lake Michigan on her bare feet, shines at night with her own golden aura, and deserves to be escorted to Springfield by a thousand trumpeting cherubim and a full twelve dozen winged mantics?"

"OR"

"Do you agree that BJM is a domestic terrorist who seeks to overthrow the Constitution of the United States, that the very grass and flowers die wherever she walks, that birds fall dead from trees wherever her shadow is cast, and that she is numbered among the legions of Satan?"

[The previous questions may have been somewhat different, but for purposes of this illustration, you may regard them as valid]

Me: "I can't believe you've attempted to insult my intelligence with those questions. This interview is over."

(I hang up)

This episode requires no explication or analysis; it has served to convince me that we are living in a political comic strip...a very dark, dark comic strip.